My First Healing Step
Road to Recovery
Healing is always a difficult process. You can’t expect something sudden to come out of nowhere to cure your mental ailment, or you can’t hope for something to adjust in your life to make you think you're worth the trillions of cells that make your existence. But don’t take my word for it if you think it’s cold and heartless. I've been those two things: the hopeful dunce and wishful idiot, and believe me, there’s pleasure in ignoracance (ignorance is bliss), but what can you do with such? Do not consider all the micro to mega problems that exist in your lifetime? It doesn’t work procrastinating through more than just your goals, just because of an out-of-the-blue feeling. What needs to be done is to change the structure of how we, as humans, can freely go about life, without neglecting our fellow peers. Too many things divide us. Communities are more self-serving than collaborative. Even for communities, not many can progress without a push from someone; they often flourish without any need to get involved, but in extreme ways. Most times, it does take a person with great standing to drive a nail through motions throughout time; however, they are hard ot come by. Whilst I may not have standing like a regal celebrity of sorts, I believe I’ve been through enough to say I’m great at this.
But anyway, keeping back on topic: the first step, the one that will help you become revitalised. It could be someone whose whole dynamic is insufferable or someone who wants a change of pace. This is for anyone.
To avoid being like past me, blissfully ignorant, and push in the right direction, one thing is needed. A corner. A stable, strong foundation. One that is reliable as such, and can be strong forthwith. If you are blessed with great family, relatives, friends, friends-of-friends, and even a dog, then you are not far off. But to those who work with loneliness close to the chest, then donning a fresh pair of ‘disaster’ clothing, we need to give you the strength.
“How?”
Probably a question you asked yourself countless times. But it’s okay, it’s not over yet. Between the two of us, life can be a bit emotionally driven and corrupting. We can look at celebrities, or even those around us through our window, down a street, and if a person looks better than us in style, looks or expression, we project a certain element of wishful hate.
Point 1: Stop your wishful hate
“Oh, I hate how he can enjoy himself with his family. Whilst mine’s a complete mess.” “No troubles, I reckon. Absolutely none.” “He’s this.” “She’s that.” “They are-”
Oh, get over it, everyone’s life is meagre in the grand scheme of things. The only people I believe are free from it all are those that are in enclosed communities away from modernisation for they only have a perspective of their small circle within an extensive circle fuilled with billions of people, but they only can focus or rather, have to focus on whatever within theirs, as such, they don’t have that automated distancing we all done by living in urban or even countryside. Just cooperating in its simplest form (or possibly they do, but they have a little less to worry about as they are more structured on necessities — everyone is different). Maybe being a minimalistic or nomad may come close as the livelihood drama reduces to necessary concerns. The unnecessary concerns make our brainpower scatter like dandelion seeds through gusty winds.
This drama, this betterment, this entitlement. It’s all meaningless. Even now, I would of course talk about others’ performance with my peers as it’s part of the job to know how people work, and it’s a good thing to notice in chef jobs, but I’m not going to flat out express entitlement in some way. Not just chefs, everyone has problems (chefs’ most likely being sleep or health-related). It’s not a healthy projection. That being said…
Point 2: Stop hating yourself
This is also true, especially if you're prone to giving yourself the middle finger and imprint it so deeply in your mind that you can’t stomach thoughts without a fresh dose of negativity. But self-hurt hurts. Throughout my experience with myself and observing others hate themselves, it seems to always amount to an unexpected inability, and they can’t imagine being better. For some, it can stem from small reminders, like how, for me, everyone appears to have had a more normal childhood and teenage years. I expected as much. They don’t have my experiences, and they won’t suffer as much. But that’s not always the case. Suffering has levels, and the amount a person can endure is how much they can handle being smashed through metaphorical floors from various situations.
Point 3: The most important point
Now, to keep it short, there’s only one thing you need to finalise this. Find an anchor. Something or someone that you can pour your heart and soul into. Something you will try to your best ability to not let go and keep hammering into your mind that this, whatever it is, gives you pleasure and experiencing even this, gives you something. Even if it isn’t anything. I switched up so many times, but writing about my emotions on the electronic page gives me some clarity that these emotions are raw and real and feel overwhelming; bad mostly, but good when the burdens are anchored.
If you have trouble figuring that out, whatever that may be, then there’s always one thing you can do. Just talk it out. Maybe someone may give you some sort of idea.
Whilst you're here, if you still have zero idea and want to start a change in your life, feel free to contact me. You can contact me either here through DMs or on my Instagram below.1
To build your beginning, a good anchor, lessen the negatives through yourself and your negativity to/yearning of others is needed. Try and do the first two points. If the third one is difficult, again, please contact me. Let me know what kind of person, and what mask you wear to make the day go by. We’d be a lot more alike than you think.